This how your artsy-fartsy feminist boyfriend thinks. The most maddening part is we get sexual thoughts about all women regardless of appropriateness or attraction. It’s a by-product, and not a test of the relationship’s value.
This is how your brother, father, grandfather and every man you’ve ever come into contact with thinks. Some go through a mourning period when they finally realize, that yes, that even their wonderful, sensitive, caring husband is really, deep down inside, a pig. These are extremely brief, primitive thoughts, lasting only milliseconds. Relatives, teachers, and our best friend’s wife are included.
I was always asking “God questions,” almost always revolving around the word “why.” Why am I here.. After I got out of the juvenile phase of life (where every “why” you ask gets a “because I said so” in return), I entered a new phase of life. So they just go ahead and do what other people are doing, to have some semblance of a sane, ordinary, normal and supposedly *happy* existence.
And it pissed people off, I mean, for chrissakes sometimes you just do stuff and don’t question it, right? Just use 2 cups flour and 3 eggs in the cake and stop thinking about it “why” they are in the proportions that they are in. And most people are still giving themselves “because I said so” answers. His mémoire, is interesting to me for one main reason: because one can watch his mind deliberate as it searches for a meaning in all the death, suffering, and apparent meaninglessness that was going on around him. Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning.
The way to become unlost, happy, and successful is found all in one thing: purpose.
Through purpose you find passion, you find happiness, you find drive, you find meaning in an apparently meaningless existence. And by purpose I don’t necessarily mean “your one ultimate purpose.” Purpose, like happiness, isn’t static.
This is how your steak and potatoes philistine macho-man husband thinks. On the most primitive and animalistic level it is our job to make sure the human race continues, at all cost. We get erections ridiculously easy and we come quickly. In the modern world that means yes, we’re ready to go anytime, anywhere. To a man, if the sex is good, the relationship is good. It’s a result of a close, safe, caring bond with their man. Frequency varies from couple to couple and is usually a compromise between two competing desires, so there’s no point in defining here what constitutes “frequent”. It’s the extra push that get’s you engaged beyond the causal nod stage. There is nothing wrong with this and it’s totally innocent. Is it OK to initiate sex while he’s trying to eat lunch? How about when he’s lying in a hospital bed dieing from cancer. It’s not just “Oh I’ve always wanted to be an Astronaut since I was young!” For some parents, raising their kids and being a good parent is their only purpose — but once their kids move out and grow up they suddenly find their lives feeling more meaningless. Normal every day people sometimes find purpose in others — a loved one for example — and once that person leaves their life they are crushed and fall into an existence that feels meaningless again. But purpose – no matter how temporary – is so important because it makes you feel like what you are doing in your life actually matters. that feeling of which so many [people] complain today, namely, the feeling of the total and ultimate meaninglessness of their lives.