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I still see my therapist, but need to talk to women who have been through this and find out how they cope. The hardest part for me is giving up on the fantasy life I thought we had, all the while knowing deep down we didn’t.
With my past sexual abuse, and his sex addiction (i’ve always known he masturbates a lot) our sex life has never been healthy, and with the baggage of that, my drinking and the new revelations I don’t think I have the energy, the want, the desire to try and work this out. Maybe we will end up stronger with better communication, a deeper relationship, but after reading your site and others, it seems recovery is not very prevalent, and I truly don’t know if I can get past this.
So when the following month’s phone bill came and he again pulled the detail, I put on my private investigators hat and began digging.
I pulled cell phone bills for the prior year and found a large amount of phone calls to 1.800 sex/chat lines. I then found web history of looking at ads on craigs list as well as various phone calls and text to random cell numbers.
He swears he has not slept with anyone else, but who looks up craigslist ads without acting on them.
As far as I can tell craigslist is not a chat site, it is for random and anonymous hook ups.
“Hi Jo Ann, I wrote you a few weeks ago, and have attached the email below. Turns out it is worse, so far admission of seeing to prostitutes, swears hand job only but he also swore he never met up with anyone. And happy to have the site for support Thanks so much, My So Called Life Hi Joann It was a breath of fresh air to find your site, and read through so many stories I could relate to.
I was recently blindsided by my husbands sex addiction, am about 3 weeks post confrontation……….
It took a couple days for him to realize I was very serious about my discoveries, and he has since been extremely remorseful, has gone to see a sex therapist and is going to his first 12 step meeting tomorrow night.
The first year of my recovery did not see many changes in our relationship as I suspect he did not think the changes in me would stick but the last year had been good, and I believed we had a good shot of making a happy life together.
And then he did two things that sent red flags up for me.
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